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Couples piggyback through deeper waters like pairs of mating frogs. A century ago Germany's spa scene was strictly high society.Others steam outside in thermal rockpools, wallowing like blissed-out manatees. The likes of King Edward VII and Russian Tsar Nicholas II "took the waters" in ritzy retreats such as Bad Homburg and Marienbad.But to the naïve eyes of my wife and I, the scene seems almost Bacchanalian, a hedonistic playground as painted by Hieronymus Bosch.Hundreds of happy bathers aged from 18 to 80 splash naked in 34C healing springs.It's not the nudity that shocks visitors to Europe's largest thermal spa. On a wintry Friday evening on the outskirts of Munich, post-work pals aren't watching TV or heading out for drinks.Instead they're sitting at Therme Erding's pool bar wearing nothing but an electronic wrist tag, which tots up how many half pints of local Erdinger lager they've supped through the night. It's a classy Center Parcs – with frankfurters, but without the clothes.

After years of geothermal research, the energy firm drilled for oil but found only a steaming lake of mineral-rich water.Known as Galaxy, it's a mile or so of state-of-the-art slides, chutes and rapids.We take an elevator up to the highest slide (yep, no stairs to climb here) and recline on a two-person inflatable sofa. My spatial awareness is governed only by my wife's open-mouthed screams and the g-force in the pit of my stomach.Scroll down to the bottom and you’ll find a ‘Block This Caller’ button.Tap it and it’ll stop all calls and texts from that number in the future.

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