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In the early 90's it was discovered that Meth was an instant cure for teen boredom, a major affliction of our time. At about the same time the 'New Coke' came out, so did 'New Meth'.New Meth was created by frequent users of the drug such as Reno and Santa, along with Russizzle and the Easter Bunny who couldn't find the key to the safe.Another side effect noted was the urge to take q-tips and individually insert them up the users anus. Ass-queuing is one of many fatal side effects that exist amongst methamphetamine abusers, and leads to the tragic deaths of 46% of the residents of Antarctica.Unfortunately, the drug is also spreading through the innocent habitats of the penguins and polar bears, causing them to rob gas stations for Q-Tips to perform ass-queuing.So, while smoking the original shebang, they thought of something so crazy, it might just be stupid. This Meth came out in the mid '90s to help supplement the "clear drug craze".Meth Clear was quickly discontinued, due to the fact that it didn't actually exist and that the drunkards, trying to spruce up what people already found perfect, didn't know how to make something transparent.

Meth Clear was quickly discontinued, due to the fact that it didn't actually exist and the fact that the drunkards, trying to spruce up.

New Meth quickly became the most popular drug among Disney Channel stars, such as Hannah Montana, and common members of the public such as bald homosexual men & bisexuals between the age of 14 and 47, as well as unemployed Olympiads. reported riots of Meth fans, protesting that it was "Close to impossible to find Meth." To make up for the demand, the CEO of Meth Classic decided to open new factories.

Surprisingly the success rate was higher than the sharp contrast to New Coke, which due to a lawsuit brought by Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, failed miserably. These satellite factories would be smaller and in more rural areas to take advantage of local county ordinances.

Following the demise of New Meth, the love of Meth Classic increased 50-fold. "Trailers", as the CEO of Meth Classic called them, would soon be a household name and provide the oh so loved Meth Classic.

But even with the failure of New Meth, the bastards and bitches of all over the country wanted some variation of this worldly creation.

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