Guys dating guys
By the time your date comes around, she’ll already have lost interest or have found someone more attentive.
If you really are going away, wait until you get back to ask her out.
MISSING IN ACTIONThe scenario: “One time I was messaging back and forth with a guy for two weeks and having a great conversation, but he was taking too long to ask me out, so I stopped talking to him.” — Kelly, 32 The problem..the solution: If you’re into her, ask her out! And if you’re not, why are you still talking to her? When she’s ready to make her exit from the online dating world, she’ll let you know. ” The problem..the solution: Sending a generic message—especially one as uninteresting as this—is not what’s going to make you stand out from other guys.
Or if you feel compelled to bring it up, say something like, “I’m not interested in meeting anyone else online. Trust us, she’s getting a boatload of uninspiring messages like “Hi, how are you?
By pointing out your hesitations, she’s bound to assume you’re an insecure person. If you feel so inclined to explain yourself, wait to do it when you’ve met in person — and be confident about your reasons for joining.
GAMBLERThe scenario: “I got a message that said ‘Obviously you’re cute, but I’m just having trouble believing that this is actually you because you seem too good to be true.
A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.
NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?
I would say that the impulse towards pairing off is good, it’s from the Lord. I think a lot of young men and young women want to create this unique semi-covenanted space that, under God, doesn’t really exist.
If you look at how God identifies relationships between men and women, if you’re in Christ, you’re either brother and sister, or you’re husband and wife. I would encourage a young man, if you’re interested in a girl, think she might be marriable, spend time with her, great.
But I think in your mind you need to discipline yourself to think, “She is my sister in the Lord.” First Timothy is clear. Do that.” Then I give them Romans, “Make no provision for the flesh” (Romans ). Spend time with her but do it with a group of friends.
It would mean they use all their resources to help her be all that she’s meant to be under God. I encourage her to be around other women who inspire her. I’ll talk to young men sometime that say, “I’m dating a girl. I’ve already fused our quiet times together.” I’m like, “I don’t know what that means, man. If you hit the gas on expediting the physical part, you’ve missed what dating is for. Would I want to hang out with her for the next 30 years? Then, as you get to know her emotionally, you start to connect and go, “I think this is the one.” Then you can enter that covenant of marriage, and you’re off to the races.
That is, to see, “Do I like hanging out with this person? Hold off from anything physical, so you can evaluate, are we made to be with one another? If that’s the case, the physical will naturally follow after you’ve gone through the covenant of marriage. Live in the tension of having no claim in her life.