Polyamorous dating tips
Does the idea of a big house with five or six adults sharing love, sex, and household responsibilities sound awesome or alarming?Would you like to have a lot of partners that you see occasionally, or just two or three that you focus on?I sent a follow-up explaining that there was no judgement – that I admired people who could live without these feelings – but explaining that for me, at that time in my life, it didn’t feel like the right thing. He would wind things down with her, end it, he said. Six, perhaps seven more blissful dates ensued, spent lolling around the park, watching films, being intimate but, on his insistence, never actually having penetrative sex until one night, on a Friday, when we headed back to my place and drank and ate dinner and then inevitably started kissing, stripping our clothes off – two sweaty bodies against each other, staring at the ceiling.He hadn’t mentioned his partner in a while and I felt the need to clarify the situation before we jumped off that cliff into uncertain new levels of contact The next day he sent me a message explaining that he didn’t want to force an end to his feelings for his partner; that he wanted to still get to know me; that he never meant to hurt me.Articulating why you want to be polyamorous will also help you navigate the times when it’s tough: You can look back at your goals and assess whether you’re moving toward them overall and whether working through the hard stuff is still worth it.
Of course all of this could be avoided if the person involved had respected my feelings and my decision to end things early on.How much time a week do you want to spend on dates, whether with new people or established partners?Would you prefer to be friends with your partners’ partners, or keep relationships separate? And knowing your own expectations and boundaries can help you work through finding partners who share your needs.Or maybe you’re still thinking about it, but don’t have a clear sense of where you’d even begin.Here are a few tips, guidelines, and things to consider for people just starting out in the polyamorous world.