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That was just the start—we wound up dating for eighteen months.And after I’d fallen in love and spent countless hours entwined in the connection with him, I decided to stop seeing him.And finally I realized that I could be with a man and, furthermore, consider having a future with someone other than Mark.So, while my first attempt at a relationship after my husband did not end up as I had wanted, it was an experience that greatly furthered my healing and growth.
However, by interacting intimately with others you may find a little bit more of yourself.I was thirty-nine years old when my husband died unexpectedly in his sleep. He was my love, my rock, a crucial part of my life and our children’s future, and in an instant, he was gone.A few weeks after his death, I received a letter from my insurance company.I buried this idea along with the letter knowing I would re-enter the dating scene in my own time. I was by myself at the grocery store and I looked up to find a man watching me with an interested look in his eye. I called him and asked him what he thought about me dating. I’m so happy you are considering it.” Her response wasn’t what I expected, but from both her and my father-in-law’s answers I felt better about moving forward.To my surprise, I found myself feeling attracted to him. This innocent exchange of glances made me uncomfortable, but only in a sense that I realized I was no longer a married woman but an available single one. First, I needed to be willing to discuss dating with people who I was close to. He said genuinely that he wanted me to be happy and that he knew Mark would want me to be happy too. I wasn’t sure what she would say and was shocked when she didn’t say anything. Second, I needed to know that I wouldn’t be dating to just fill a void. However I had met Mark online and thought it was a good place to start. It felt a little uncomfortable to be searching for a ‘new’ man after being with one man for ten years.