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In the month of January alone, I went on close to 15 dates with a wide range of men, from lawyers to yogis to hippies to businessmen.
I dated a banker and a farmer, a cowboy (not kidding) and a meditation instructor.
What I am learning is that if I am too rigid and focus too much attention on what I am "looking" for (and what everything must look like and feel like in that process), I am missing out on allowing myself to experience something special.
Because really, the specialness is in those moments where I am on a date with someone and laughing so hard my stomach hurts and just enjoying the time together and not focussing on what comes next.
I admit I used to have a checklist when it came to men.
And sure, as a 30-year-old woman, I have my fair share of "deal breakers." What has changed is that I am more than willing to go out on a date or two (or six or seven) with someone who I wouldn't have normally dated.
I thought it was a great time to tell him how I felt and see what happened, but my friend literally removed my phone from my hands warning me that I would "ruin" any potential I had with him by being too honest. I recently relocated to the East Coast, and about two weeks into my time here, I decided to start dating again.
The thing is, no one really has any idea how dating really "works." I have spent the past year of my life doing my best to decode and understand the ins and outs of dating. How many dates before having "the conversation" about going exclusive or continuing to date other people?
Can I text him after the first date or do I have to wait for him to text me? And so I would turn to my friends for advice -- to call or not to call, to share my feelings or to play it cool, etc.
I thought that if I told men I wanted to have fun that they wouldn't take me seriously or see me as the mature and dynamic woman I am.
I assumed they would see or hear the word "fun" and think I was shallow, or not looking for a relationship with substance, or anything deep or meaningful. I am being very honest and authentic when I speak about having fun.