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I know it may be a rare breed, but he must be a cultural, emotional, linguistic, intellectual, gastronomic, nonreligious Jew. (MORE: How Friendship Makes You More Successful) Once I had my list, I created a mathematical formula to assess each possible candidate before we went out on a date.

A possible suitor had to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points for us to chat online or on the phone, and more points were required for us to meet in person.

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To wit: if you were to visit a grocery store with a list that simply read “meat, produce, dairy,” you’d have a hard time choosing and settling on the right items too. ) I believe that I was successful at finding the perfect person because I made an extremely granular and specific list, noting everything from acceptable attitudes toward work and sports to what type of jazz he should like.

In all, I had 72 attributes that I parsed into two sections: one was a top-tier list of 10 deal-breaker characteristics, and the other was a secondary tier of 15 important qualities I would demand in a partner. I need someone who was raised in a Jewish household.

As I argue in my book, people are perpetually single or labor on in unfulfilling relationships not because of tyranny of choice but because they haven’t created a specific list of what they want in a mate.

“Aligning on religion, finances and family” doesn’t qualify as a list.

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