Red flags and dating
He or she just wants you to keep your attention on them. The person is an older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships, or has had numerous broken marriages. Abandoning one's children -- other than giving up a baby for adoption -- may indicate lack of empathy.People get together at their common level of woundedness -- i.e., their common level of self-abandonment. If this person cannot feel pain for your pain and joy for your joy, you will end up feeling very lonely in the relationship. Sometimes there are extenuating circumstances that prevent a parent from seeing their children, or a parent might come to the painful realization that it is not in the child's best interest to be involved with them.He or she tries to make you feel that you are wrong for your feelings or your position.This is another narcissistic trait: the belief that only his or her feelings and opinions are valid, and that differences pose a threat. The person talks on and on about himself or herself and doesn't ask much about you, or is uninterested when you do talk about yourself. This person is not interested in you or your feelings.Over the many years of working with thousands of people looking to find a committed relationship, I've discovered numerous red flags that may indicate future problems.
It’s like those articles that say something to the effect of “divorced men make great partners because they know how to commit since they’ve committed to marriage before,”…unless, of course, he’s a serial cheater, which might be the reason he got divorced in the first place.Below is a list of some of the red flags I've discovered. Some of these items might not be deal-breakers for you; if the issue is okay with you, then there is no problem. See if you can identify personally with any of these red flags. The person comes on strong at the beginning of the relationship, and tells you exactly what you want to hear. Narcissists can be very intense in their pursuit, and many of them have learned exactly what to say to pull you in, such as, "I've never felt as connected with anyone else as I feel with you," or "You are the most amazing person I've ever met.I can see that no one has ever really seen you." For many narcissists, the pursuit is everything and once they have you hooked, they are either off to another pursuit, or they become more and more demanding of you. The person becomes angry, critical or withdrawn if you say no. Narcissists need constant attention and often become very upset and punishing if you don't give them what they want. The person becomes logical and tries to talk you out of your feelings or your experience.Let's go grab some Frostys and then bang." Socially competent people know to just ask someone out to dinner and then let the banging happen organically.13. There's no shame in being unemployed for a stretch or getting paid under the counter.But if he's describing himself as an "entrepreneur" and refuses to get more detailed or refers to his job situation as "complicated" instead of being up front, that should be a red flag. Either he's seeing someone else and doesn't want to be spotted out with another woman in his hometown, he doesn't see a future with you and doesn't want you knowing where he lives just so he can keep his distance, or he's basically a hoarder and he doesn't want you to see the state his place is in.